Six Steps to Practicing Authentic Gratitude
Gratitude is easy to talk about and harder to sustain—especially when life feels heavy.
When you’re juggling responsibilities, managing stress, or simply trying to stay afloat, being told to “just be grateful” can feel dismissive or unrealistic.
Authentic gratitude isn’t a personality trait—it’s a skill. It doesn’t require you to ignore pain or pretend things are okay. Instead, it helps you widen your perspective to include what’s still holding you up, even in hard seasons.
This kind of gratitude builds resilience because it’s honest. It creates space for both the ache and the awe.
When gratitude becomes part of how you move through the day—rather than a list you rush to complete—it changes how you experience stress, relationships, and even yourself.
Why this matters:
Authentic gratitude helps shift your nervous system out of survival mode and into connection. Research from Robert Emmons and Michael McCullough found that consistent gratitude practices improve mood, motivation, and physical health. Shawn Achor’s work on “the happiness advantage” shows that when the brain learns to look for small positives, creativity and problem-solving increase.
Gratitude also strengthens relationships. Expressing appreciation creates belonging—something our nervous systems deeply crave. As Jon Kabat-Zinn reminds us, awareness allows gratitude to take root. You can’t feel grateful for what you don’t notice.
When practiced authentically, gratitude leads to:
Better emotional regulation. Naming what’s good balances what’s difficult.
Improved perspective. Noticing small positives shifts attention from control to appreciation.
Deeper connection. Gratitude expressed out loud fosters empathy and trust.
How to apply this practice:
If you want to bring gratitude into your life in a sustainable way, try these six simple steps:
Start with truth.
Before you reach for the good, name what’s real. “I’m tired and overwhelmed, and I’m grateful for my morning coffee.”Keep it small and specific.
Focus on tiny moments—sunlight through your window, a kind text, a deep breath that feels grounding. Small gratitude is the most powerful kind.Pair it with mindfulness.
Take three slow breaths and notice your body before reflecting. Gratitude deepens when your body feels safe enough to notice it.Express it out loud.
Gratitude grows when it’s shared. Tell someone why you appreciate them. Specific, genuine thanks strengthen connection.Build rhythm, not rules.
You don’t need a perfect daily routine. Try jotting down one gratitude reflection three times a week—or sharing one at dinner. Consistency matters more than frequency.Let it land.
After reflecting, pause. Feel it in your chest, your breath, your posture. Let your body register the experience of appreciation.
Gratitude isn’t about finding perfection—it’s about finding perspective.
Further reading & resources
Robert Emmons – Thanks!: How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier
Shawn Achor – The Happiness Advantage (TED Talk: “The Happy Secret to Better Work”)
Jon Kabat-Zinn – Wherever You Go, There You Are
Susan David – Emotional Agility (podcast and book)
Flex Counseling & Wellness offers counseling (telehealth in Ohio and Florida, in-person in the Cleveland area), professional workshops, and online resilience courses and resources.
Photo by Gabrielle Henderson on Unsplash
