Resources

Why boundaries matter

  • You gain energy back. Every “yes” that should have been a “no” depletes you. Boundaries protect your time, mental bandwidth, and nervous system.

  • You create space for what actually matters. When you stop overcommitting, you can focus on what brings meaning and alignment.

  • You show people how to treat you. Clear, compassionate boundaries reinforce your worth and set the tone for mutual respect.

  • You reduce resentment. Boundaries keep you out of the cycle of overgiving and silently stewing.

  • You reconnect with yourself. Boundaries help you meet your own needs, not just the expectations of others.

Boundaries are where burnout ends and resilience begins.

Most of us weren’t taught how to set boundaries—we were taught how to be agreeable, helpful, accommodating, and available. We learned that being liked often meant being needed, and that saying “no” could make us look cold, selfish, or difficult.

But over time, that constant bending leads to something deeper: resentment, exhaustion, and a quiet loss of self.

Healthy boundaries are not about pushing people away. They are about reclaiming the space you need to stay rooted in your values, energy, and truth. In fact, boundaries aren’t just self-care—they’re a form of self-leadership. And for those of us trying to do meaningful work, be present for loved ones, and live from a place of integrity, they’re non-negotiable.

Vulnerability + Boundaries = True Connection

Dr. Brené Brown says it best:

"Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others."

Boundaries are vulnerable because they invite risk: Will they still respect me? Will I be misunderstood? But vulnerability is also the birthplace of authenticity. It’s how we show up fully in our relationships without disappearing in them.

Melissa Urban, author of The Book of Boundaries, offers a practical lens. Her scripts and strategies for green-yellow-red level boundaries empower people—especially women—to stop justifying or explaining their limits. One of her mantras:

“You are not too much. You’re just finally drawing the line.”

A New Story: You Are Allowed to Need What You Need

Setting boundaries doesn’t mean you're shutting others out. It means you’re choosing to show up in your life with more clarity, presence, and intention. You’re not available for everything anymore—but you’re more available for what matters.

Whether it’s turning off your phone after 7pm, saying no to a project that doesn’t align with your values, or asking for emotional space after a tough day, every boundary is a step toward wholeness.

  • Book: The Book of Boundaries

    By Melissa Urban – Practical tools and real-life scripts for navigating work, family, and social boundaries with clarity and kindness.

    Website

  • Podcast: How to Set and Hold Boundaries

    In this podcast, Melissa Urban breaks down the often-intimidating concept of boundaries into practical, empowering steps. She offers real-life scripts, emphasizes that boundaries are acts of self-care—not selfishness—and encourages listeners to communicate their needs clearly and confidently, without guilt.

    Link to Podcast

  • Worksheet: The BRAVING Inventory

    The BRAVING Inventory is Brené Brown’s framework for understanding and building trust, both in relationships and within ourselves. It breaks trust down into seven clear, actionable components.

    At its core, BRAVING helps us evaluate whether trust is present, repair it when it’s broken, and cultivate deeper, more authentic connections.

    Worksheet

  • Book: Daring Greatly

    Brené Brown explores how vulnerability is not a weakness but a source of strength and connection.

    Through research and storytelling, she shows how embracing vulnerability can transform the way we live, lead, love, and parent—helping us show up more fully and authentically in every part of our lives.

    Website

  • Worksheet: Boundaries

    This worksheet can help you think through a response that will honor your boundaries.

    Worksheet

  • Brene Brown - Podcast Episode

    In the 30-minute podcast linked below, Brene Brown talks about anxiety, over functioning, under functioning, and ways to build courage.

    Her book "Daring Greatly" includes a framework for addressing some of the deeper issues that can lead to anxiety.

    Podcast link